Marionette’s Dream
Posted on May 30th, 2008
by 
Zummy Bear
Zummy Bear
A friend recently asked me for my definition of “perfect happiness” and it set me off on a meandering musing. The first thing that came to mind was “when the internal and the external are in harmony”.
In the West, our main approach to this model of happiness is to attempt to shape the external world (relationships, homes, jobs, belongings, appearances, activities, etc.) to match our internal impulses. The Eastern approach is to transform our internal conditioning so that it harmonizes with external realities.
Of course, these are extremely simplified generalizations, especially when considering that the boundary between East and West is dissolving---beautifully, tragically---as we embrace components of one another’s cultures. But allow me this simple conceit and I shall soldier onward.
And of course there are advantages and disadvantages to both philosophies. While the Eastern goal of unconditional peace, happiness, love, etc. may be more appealing to me, the Western approach to happiness may actually be a lot easier to accomplish, at least in the short term! It’s usually a lot easier to go out and get another half-gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream than it is to learn to curb my appetites (current beggar lifestyle excepted, of course). As usual, the healthiest approach is probably to balance both methods. There is a time for manipulating external variables and a time for working on our internal compulsions. Mint chocolate chip ice cream in moderation.
Being a child of the West, I am well-versed in the practice of attempting to tweak external reality so that it matches what “I want”. It’s been a pretty radical shift to now try to re-align my internal impulses with external reality. And sure, that may all sound very grand, but what does it really mean to “harmonize the internal with the external”? Well, I think it means embracing---without clinging to---“What Is”, and letting go of---without pushing away---“What Is Not” (the past, the future, things I desire, fear, dream of). In other words, being at peace with myself and the way the world presents itself to me moment to moment, the light and the dark. In a word: Relax.
And yeah, I can already hear the Wise Guys banging on the door, slipping notes through the mail slot, reminding me that we are already in total harmony, that chaos and order go hand in hand, as do pain and happiness. The Tao is already balanced, unified, whole. And so that’s part of my practice too: to let these absolute (objective) truths in, to let them flavor and influence my largely relative (subjective) experience of life. And of course it’s also important to remember that I very well might not know what the hell I’m talking about here…..Humility is always a nice final resting point. (Good starting point and mid point too, for that matter.)
On the face of it, this practice of “harmonizing the internal with the external” can appear to be a fairly passive approach. One could, however, also easily argue that succumbing to our internal impulses day after day is actually a much more passive way of living. (It’s interesting to notice my very Western resistance to the notion of passivity…and let go.) Indeed, there are aspects of passivity to the Eastern path---after all, like all things, passivity has its place and time---yet it is actually a very active practice with some far-reaching ramifications.
Obviously, it can be a real battle to recondition deeply entrenched thought and habit patterns. If I can get them to open up and embrace whatever the world places before me (by convincing, cajoling, begging, threatening, even surrendering---whatever it takes!), then I will have opened a door onto a whole ton of unconditional internal potentials, such as peace, happiness, self-acceptance, love, freedom, gratitude, humility, energy, creativity, wisdom, fashion sense…..uh, yeah, etc.
But there are also implications that reach much further than “just” all this yummy unconditional stuff. (And here’s where we really disembark the passive train of thought.) The more I bow down to reality, the more it bows down back to me.
As I bow down to them, I can begin to truly see the ten thousand and one energies that come into and through me. (E.g., gravity, sounds, air, temperature, images, food, emotions, ideas, millions of years of biological conditioning, etc., etc., etc.) And the more I see them, the more I realize that they have been running the show the whole time anyways, dangling me on their strings like the puppet that I really am.
My ego objects. It doesn’t want to be a puppet. It wants to cut the strings, to be “my own man”. But if I can calm it down and teach it to embrace and resonate with these ten thousand and one puppet strings, then I may be lucky enough to realize an amazing thing: the strings work in both directions.
It makes sense---both intuitively and rationally---that the more I learn to harmonize with the energies of the universe then the more I will be able to bend and shape them. And perhaps this is the threshold between pre-determination and true free will. A determinist---which my coldly rational self is---believes that we are totally controlled by external elements through our biological and social conditioning, nature and nurture. We don’t see much compelling evidence for free will. So this may be a real flight of fancy, but just maybe free will can truly blossom when we fully harmonize with the world…..and learn to pull back on the puppet strings.
But for now, this marionette tries to let go of this dream and embrace the pirouettes and tumbles I am made to dance, especially the dance of bowing…
If I harmonize enough, perhaps the boundary between the internal and the external will dissolve as they merge. Or more accurately, maybe I will realize that the boundary has been totally imaginary all along and that the concepts of internal and external are merely an illusion to begin with. (That correction helped me dodge a blow from the zen master’s staff!) For the ten thousand and one things don’t just come into and through me, they are me.
Okay, I realize that I’m playing one of my broken records again, repeating songs that I’ve already sung in previous entries…..
So is it my fault or the Cosmos’ fault? Does the Cosmos dance this puppet Zum, or do I dance the Cosmos? Is there really a difference when I realize that it’s all simply The Dance?
Ah, what possibilities lie on the horizon then?!
Bonk! (The Wise Guys clonk me upside the head with their clear bottle and its clear clear liquid.) Ahem…I mean, what possibilities unfold, right here, right now?
We have never stopped dancing…..
Come dance with me?
"If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel."
U2, from Mysterious Ways
---Yoshin Sensei
“Really now, just where do you leave off and the rest of the universe begin? Or where does the rest of the universe leave off and you begin? Once you can see the so-called ‘you’ and the so-called ‘nature’ as a continuous whole, then you can never again be bothered by such questions as whether it is you who are controlling nature or nature who is controlling you. Thus the muddle of free will versus determinism will vanish.”
---God, in Raymond Smullyan’s essay “Is God a Taoist?”, an entertaining dialogue between a “mortal” and “God”
“I decided to come back into my creation. And this time I want to keep a low profile. You remember what happened last time!”
---“The Creator”, who I met at Chess Park
(Well, I’ve already met “God” and “the Messiah”, so why not "the Creator"?)
Access: Public
August 2008 
Hey Zum - I'm totally with you regarding fashion sense… but would you say a bit more about the strings working both ways? I'm intrigued.
uh…..er…..well…..hmmm…..
Dang, Savitri, I was hoping no one would ask this beggar about my new clothes—–hand-me-downs from the emperor! Talk about no fashion sense! (More on clothes, or the lack thereof, in the next post.)
Okay, I'll give it my best shot, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you might actually know more about this than I do…..
I think that “the strings working both ways” can be understood on several different levels.
Primarily, I meant it with regards to what I already wrote about determinism vs. free will: that pulling back on the strings represents that point when we go beyond merely reacting to stimuli with our conditioned impulses and instead truly begin to act freely in our lives, consciously affecting and effecting our world.
Learning to work the strings can be very helpful on an interpersonal level. If I can truly respect and validate whatever energies are being sent in my direction—from friend or foe—then these energies no longer try to impose their will over me, and instead can become powerful allies. I think it's important not to approach this as “manipulation”, but as true honoring.
And then there's the metaphysical level, admittedly a much grayer area for me.
The more I accept and embrace reality as it is—celebrate it even—then the more it seems to open up to me. Doors open wide. Blessings rain down from the most unlikely places. Likewise, the more I resist reality, the more doors shut in my face. Someone once said, “Do the work of the Universe, and the Universe will do your work for you.” And what is the work of the Universe? Well, that probably depends on individual callings. Mine apparently is to wander about cluelessly…..
But even more than just “the work of the Universe”, things seem to start going “my way”. There are times when my will and intentions appear to start manifesting in ways that are beyond the normal spheres of influence. And here we reach the threshold to the realm of “siddhis”, metaphysical powers attained through spiritual practice.
While some yogic practices focus on the development of siddhis, many other traditions treat them as potential obstacles on the spiritual path. At best, they view them as interesting by-products of practice, while at worst, they are seen as huge egoic pitfalls. As with most other things, balance is probably the key. After all, developing healing powers sounds like it could be a pretty beneficial skill if it didn't go to one's head.
Of course, being mainly a rationalist, I'm not at all sure I even believe in siddhis. Or really know what the heck I'm talking about here…..(My reason and intuition can sure get in some argumentative doozies. But they're learning to play together better.)
A wise friend probably put it the simplest when she quoted Buckminster Fuller in her blog: “Don't oppose forces; use them.”
And your insight on this matter?
Ha! I knew you would turn this around on me and quote my quote. Vewy cwever, wabbit.
I guess I’m not cwazy about the metaphor. Perhaps I misunderstand (which is why I asked), but on the first point it almost sounds like you’re suggesting that if we act out of conditioning we aren’t really affecting the world.
I really enjoyed your inside-out thoughts on passivity, but I still don’t know why you feel it follows that acceptance leads to some ability to “bend and shape” the universe.
As I see it, acceptance and harmonizing serve to dissolve the small agendas that direct one’s will down blind, egoic alleys. So action can align with the dance – the larger purpose and process. Like we get rhythm and become better dancers.
Hah! So you already “knew” what I was going to do before I did it!
I thought you had siddhis!